Always Protect You
by ravenshell
Summary: Donnie promised that he would always protect her. After death, it seems he still holds to that promise. WARNINGS: main character death, non-con situation (no sex)


**Always Protect You**

WARNING: Main Character Death, non-con (no sex)

The team had been out on a routine patrol when things had gotten a little hairy in a fight with the Purple Dragons. April had been doing her best to fight their numbers back, but her strength was flagging; she was making mistakes, and was well aware of it. She threw a punch at her enemy that went so wide it didn't even make contact. Her opponent took full advantage of the miss, coming at her stomach with a butterfly knife. She dodged backward, one swipe, then the next, and found herself up against the alley wall, about to be filleted. But there was a solid _thunk_ of wood against skull, and Donnie came into view as the Dragon dropped, unconscious. Even in the fray, he offered her a bashful smile, before they both dashed back into the fight.

x-x-x-x-x

When they regrouped at the lair after the battle, April sat off by herself, rather subdued, while Mikey was trying to wrangle everyone together to watch a movie. Don came to join her. "Everything all right?"

She scrunched her lips together in annoyance. "I didn't do so well tonight… I just don't have the stamina you guys do."

The purple-banded ninja chuckled mildly. "Well, when you train for six hours a day for most of your life…" he said, circling a hand by way of brushing it off. "You did fine."

"I did not!" was her angered retort. "I would've gotten myself knifed if you hadn't been there to take the guy out!" She huffed and recentered her gaze at her lap, not wanting to vent her ire on Donnie just because he'd come to her rescue, as usual. What was she going to yell at him for, being a killstealer? She looked up into his bright, querulous mahogany eyes. "What would I do if you weren't there? What kind of mess would I be in if I get into a fight I can't get out of, without you there to step in when I fail?"

His reassuring smile only widened, his charming diastema coming into view as he did, and he bent to place a small kiss on her lips. "I will _always_ be there to protect you. Always."

x-x-x-x-x

Until he wasn't.

x-x-x-x-x

Not three months after that conversation, while the two of them were out doing a routine pairs patrol, Leo with Mikey to the north, Raph and Casey to the west, that they found themselves hemmed in by a mass of Foot-bots. Surrounded on all sides, they were forced to fight for their lives. April took out her fair share of bots, back to back with Donatello, but she was out of breath and felt the fatigue setting in to her muscles as the number of bots never seemed to lessen as they fought, new foes leaping in over the dismembered pieces of their defeated comrades.

And then things got worse.

Stepping through the ranks of bots came the Shredder himself, tekko-gaki and double-edged sword drawn. She yelped when she saw him coming, a yelp that Don echoed when he turned to see what had panicked her. Her heart fell into her stomach, and she could tell Donnie was similarly scared. But he stepped in front of her. "April, stay behind me… fight toward the eastern wall and when you're clear, jump to the fire escape and run. Got it?"

"Yeah," she breathed, doubling her efforts to smash through the bots before her as Don faced off with the turtles' greatest and most fearsome enemy.

She was nearing the edge of the roof, at the end of her strength and getting sloppy again. It wasn't going to be enough. She let out a whimper as her confidence flagged as well, fearing that they wouldn't make it. Don was keeping the Shredder at bay as they edged backward, but more of the ninja robots were closing in on her again. "We're not going to make it!" she cried out of desperation.

Don looked back at her over his shoulder, spun and gave Shredder a firm back kick, then hoisted her up in his arms. "Go and don't look back!" he hollered and pitched her off the roof toward the fire escape of the neighboring building. She shrieked as she suddenly went airborne. And of course, the first thing she did when she hit the metal grid was turn and look back.

For years afterward, she wished she hadn't.

In the moment Don had turned away from their enemy to aid her escape, the Foot leader had disarmed him, grabbed him by the shell, and forced him to his knees. Cables from the bots had his arms and ankles firmly bound. The turtle looked terrified and did what his instincts told him was his only option: he tucked his head into his shell.

Shredder's sword followed.

April didn't hear her own scream as Donatello died.

x-x-x-x-x

The clan was devastated at the loss of their gentle genius, but none more than April, who carried the burden of Donnie's death heaviest. Despite Casey and Mikey's comforting and Leo and Master Splinter's repeated reassurances that she was not to blame for the Shredder's heinous act, she could not help but feel guilty as an accessory to his death. From that point on, Raphael fixed her with a gaze of mixed scorn and sympathy, the two emotions battling inside him, but he never spoke about it. The two of them exchanged few words from then on, in a sort of silent agreement.

Besides the guilt, she felt embittered… He had promised! Promised he would always be there to watch her back, but he wasn't— He had died doing it, but now… She was on her own.

She studied hard under Master Splinter, improving her skills so that she could defend herself. Three more years, and she still wasn't at the level of the turtles, but it was something. She just had to hope that it was enough to keep herself safe…

x-x-x-x-x

One evening, as she was walking home from the bank, messenger bag full of important documents, a thief grabbed the strap as he ran past, yanking it away from her before she could even react. "Hey!" she shouted and gave chase, as the man ducked down a dark alley. April couldn't see the man as she pursued, slowing when his footsteps were replaced by a solid, wooden _thunk_ and her bag suddenly slid out of the shadows to her feet. She could see no one but the unconscious thug… Knew it wasn't one of the guys, since they were all in for movie night. Plus there was only one turtle whose aura felt like this, and he was… gone.

But it felt so much like him… Did she see a flicker of purple and olive, or was that her mind playing tricks?

"Um… Thank you," she called down the alleyway, regardless of who it was, and went on her way, only slightly rattled.

x-x-x-x-x

It was so late it was early when Casey Jones stumbled into the apartment he and April shared, swaying and catching himself on the walls as he made his way to the bedroom. Another bender night with Raph… they'd become more frequent after Don's passing, and were also likely the result of trying to put him out of their minds. April put up with her partner's habits, as long as he wasn't violent or too loud while she was trying to sleep. But this evening…

He was on her before she fully woke, pinning her wrists together with one hand. She let out a yell, thinking she was being attacked by a stranger, but couldn't so much as wriggle to fight back before his weight was on top of her and he was undoing his fly. "Casey, no!" she said adamantly.

"C'mon, Red, y'know ya owe it t'me…" he slurred back, proceeding.

"No, I don't! Get off me!"

" 're sucha tease… Y' know you want…"

"No! Stop it!" she shrieked, doing her most to pull her legs back together after he had kneed them apart. She froze out of shock and pain when he slapped her.

She wasn't certain she heard the voice when she did, wasn't sure she saw the semi-transparent green beak with the gap in the front teeth as it appeared in the air by the vigilante's ear, when it snarled a whisper of, "Back off, Jones! You're too drunk!

Casey drew back in confusion, wobbling as he tried to stay upright and knocking his bandana off as he pushed a hand through his unruly hair. He gave an exaggerated shrug with his hands in the air and clambered off her. "Ya gotta listen ta Donnie," he said, overly loudly. He looked her in the eyes and pointed a finger toward his own head, attempting a serious look as he bobbed to keep his balance. " 'Cuz he's shmart!" Then he stumbled away from the bed. "Yer right, Donnie… Yeh… I'ma… go… keep on th' slouch."

April blinked, watching Jones stagger back down the hall, befuddled by what had just happened, and listening to him prattling to "Donnie" as he went. "Yer a good friend, Don… Why doncha come 'round more offen? Elephant fart…Gorrila guts… What're we on, agin? I? … Impotent pig. Yeah, I know you think I din't know that word!"

April screwed her brows together. Every other letter of the alphabet… their insult game?

She asked Jones in the morning, once the hangover had cleared, if he remembered who he was speaking to.

He said he didn't even remember coming home.

x-x-x-x-x

She was deemed the smarts of the team, taking Don's place, so it was up to her to defuse the bomb planted in the building next to where the guys were fighting. The Shredder had shown up, making things extra complicated, making her emotions run especially high. She wanted to be in the fray, fighting to avenge Don with his brothers, but someone had to clear the apartment building and stop the timer.

Yanking the fire alarm had done the trick well enough, with everyone quickly heading down the stairs and neighbors assisting the elderly residents, but after her sweep to make sure everyone had gotten out, it left her precious little time.

She'd figured out a few steps of the process, cut a few wires, but coming down to the last pair—red or black?—she didn't know what to do, and her instincts told her nothing except _run!_ So, in the last thirty seconds, she pelted for the stairs.

Pounding down the steps, she made it to the third floor before the explosion took her off her feet, throwing her down to the landing as the building collapsed and twisted and turned sideways. Her world was suddenly a mass of dust and falling debris as the rest of the building came down on top of her. A chunk of brickwork clipped her across the back of the head, and she blacked out.

x-x-x-x-x

When she awoke, she wasn't sure if it was night or she was simply cut off from the outside light. She tried to move, despite the blinding pain in her skull, and found her left leg to be pinned by a slab of concrete. As she tried to move, a larger piece of the building, not three feet away, shifted above her. A scream escaped her… If she tried to get out, that thing would fall and crush her. Frightened tears began leaking from her eyes. She did her best to hold perfectly still, but even her breathing seemed to make the slab scoot closer to falling on her. "Help! HELP!" _I'm going to die alone and scared…_

"You'll be all right, April. Don't be scared."

She thought she had hallucinated his voice at first, but then began to see faint glimmers of green and purple, never in the same place, fading in and out as they outlined the edges and contours of his form, kneeling above her in the small space. "Donnie?" she whispered, about all her bashed-up body could manage.

He gave her a broad smile, charming gap tooth on display, his shell to the threatening concrete block. He turned his head to give his own shimmering shell a glance. "Did you know that turtles' shells are so strong because they're curved? A spherical object can withstand more pressure because it's able to distribute pressure along its surface." He turned back to meet her eyes. "I won't let anything happen to you," he said with such absolute confidence, she had to believe him.

"How can you be here?" she croaked back. "Am I just dreaming you? Are you a ghost?"

He gave an amused laugh, mahogany eyes dancing. "You know, there's no scientific support for the existence of ghosts." He curled a finger against his chin in thought. "I suppose I might be some type of guardian angel, though there's even less proof of that…" He beamed at her.

"Donnie…" she whispered, reaching out an arm for him. She wanted to ask more, but was suddenly overcome with a wave of dizziness and exhaustion.

"You had a little knock on the head. Sleep now, and heal," Don said, reaching out a hand to stroke her cheek. As she drifted off, she realized it wasn't so much an actual touch, but a feeling of warmth and comfort.

x-x-x-x-x

She wasn't sure how long she had been out when she woke fully, but the comforting green and purple light Don emitted was still there with her. An attempt to move her leg only resulted in pain that made her shout in pain; there was no moving it.

"Don't try to move," he instructed softly. "You have a fractured fibula and a severely sprained ankle, on top of the mild concussion, and some bruised ribs."

"I have to get out of here, though…" she mumbled weakly. "…Have to get loose…" Twisting, she only caused her leg to spasm again.

"Shh, shh, shh… Just stay calm, April," the apparition of Don soothed, his shell still to the block that threatened to fall. "They're coming. They're looking for you. Casey's up there, helping." She stared defiantly up into his eyes, but he shook his head. "I know how you hate feeling helpless, but right now, you just need to wait."

"I thought you said you would protect me…" she said sourly in his direction. "I know you have been… but why so bad this time? Why not help me before the bomb blew?"

His endless smile faded, and he sighed. "I can only work with what I'm given, I'm afraid, and I can only step in when you truly need it. You'd resent it if I kept you from doing things yourself, right?" She nodded, without meeting his eyes, conceding. "I managed to keep most of the fifth floor from falling on you… This was the alternative. It's… less than ideal, but it's the better of the available options."

April lay stunned for several moments, then felt it necessary to say, "Thank you, Donnie. For all of it."

His loving but sad grin returned. "I'm sorry I can't do more."

She snorted. "Besides, not being crushed by a pile of blown-up building is a great start."

"Everything will be all right," he assured as her consciousness began to fade again.

x-x-x-x-x

A roll of thunder awakened her, and a stream of water dribbling nearby caught her attention. Rain, she realized, and her little chamber was becoming cold and clammy. And yet, her throat felt so very dry… and that little stream out of the concrete next to her was so far away…

She watched as Don's cupped hand reached out to the trickle, catching some of it and bringing it to her lips. "You should drink. Filtered spring water it's not, but it's better than nothing. Did you know… a person can live as long as 2 months without food, but only three to four days without water?"

She drank gladly, then asked, "How long… have I been down here?", still a bit muzzy from the head trauma.

He didn't answer directly, offering her another handful of gritty water. She marveled at the fact that his hand held it, even though it was, other than the shimmering edges, see-through. "They're coming, April. Casey and the rescue crew are being hindered by the rain, but they'll be here to get you out soon. Leo and Mike and Raph come every night to help clear the rubble, too, when it's too dark for the rescuers to see them. They're going to find you."

She stretched and pushed herself into a sitting position, nearly bumping her head on the low overhang of debris. Don tracked her with a look of concern. "How is your leg feeling?"

April blinked. "I… can't feel it. It's numb."

The transparent turtle winced. "That's not good. Here, this should help." She watched his arms reach straight through the block atop her foot. After a moment, she began feeling pins and needles in her injured leg, and a bit of the pain resumed, though she assumed that was a good thing. Don grinned again, even as she squirmed.

"Feels like my whole leg fell asleep and now it's waking up," she said, gritting her teeth as her broken leg gave a painful twitch.

"Wiggle your toes for me. Sorry it hurts, but that should help with the blood flow."

"Thank you," she said, even though she wasn't grateful for the discomfort itself.

"I wish there was a better way," he said, voice full of regret, "but it will be enough."

x-x-x-x-x

"April… April, wake up!"

Donnie's insistent whisper roused her from a deep sleep. She glanced around, disoriented and in pain once again.

"It's time to wake up now," he told her gently. "They're here for you. You need to call out to them; they won't hear me."

As if on cue, Casey's voice carried her name down to her.

"Here! I'm here!" she shouted up to him. "I can't move, my leg's pinned and broken!"

"April! Keep yelling, Red! We're going to get you out! Guys! Over here! I found her!" A series of muffled hollers followed, coordinating to lift large pieces of rubble away and bringing machines to brace and lift heavier bits of the building away from her.

"Okay! I will! Not like I have much else to do down here…" She looked back to her turtle-angel with a triumphant smile, which lessened almost immediately. "You're going away after this, aren't you?"

He gave a small nod.

"Don't go! Please!" Tears sprung to her eyes. "I missed you so much, Donnie! We all have!"

That sad smile resumed its place on this face. "I can only stay as long as I'm needed," he told her.

"I don't want you to go! _I_ need you!" she insisted, reaching forward to touch him. Though her hands went through his arms and hands, she felt that comforting warmth from him again.

"Please don't be sad, April. Even if you can't see me, I'll always be with you. I'll always protect you."

"Donnie!" she wailed, tears spilling down her cheeks and causing her vision to waver.

"I love you, April." The shimmering outlines around him lessened and fizzled out like firefly glows, one by one, until only his mahogany eyes remained, staring lovingly down on her.

Any reply from her was cut off by a shifting of concrete and brickwork and a beam of sunshine shot into April's alcove. Distracted, she turned to the rescue worker, who assured her they would get her to safety soon, and when April turned her head back, Don's glowing eyes were gone. She suddenly felt empty, and alone, despite what he'd just said, despite the sudden bustle of rescuers and Casey tying chains around concrete blocks and hauling them away to form a proper exit hole. The wail she let out wasn't from physical pain as they levered the boulder off her leg, splinted it, and pulled her out.

"April! Are you all right?" Casey crowed, at her side as soon as she'd been extracted, immediately surrounded by EMTs. "Good thing you called out when you did… We wouldn't 'a found you! Even the sniffer dogs didn't know you were there!"

"Can you tell me of the injuries you're aware of, miss?" one of the EMTs interrupted.

"Mild concussion, fractured fibula, severely sprained ankle, bruised ribs, and probably some dehydration…?" April listed, rattling off Donnie's assessments.

"That's remarkably accurate…" the EMT doing initial triage on her remarked. "Have you had medical training?"

A panicked yelp caught their attention, and all looked back as the last of the rescue crew leapt clear of the slab that had been above her—the one Donnie had braced with his shell as she lay there for five days—as it collapsed, crushing the alcove, an avalanche of rubble cascading down on top of it. The man staggered over to them backward, exchanging a shocked look with the group. "Lost a Jaws a' Life in there…" he said. "All a' that had to weigh several hundred tons… 's a miracle it stayed up long enough for us ta find ya!"

April gaped at the cloud of dust the collapse sent up. "No…just physics…" she murmured vaguely, then grinned to herself. "And maybe my guardian angel. But there's no scientific proof of that…"

Casey quirked an eye at her as the EMTs lifted her onto a stretcher and loaded her into the ambulance. "You sound kinda like Donnie, ya know?"

She leaned her head toward him as he took a spot next to her in the ambulance. "Yeah. We, uh… we spent a lot of time together recently." Her boyfriend treated her to a pair of curiously, and somewhat jealously scrunched eyebrows. "I'll tell you about it later, when we're in… proper company."

The vigilante nodded and let out an "Ohhh" of understanding. "Ya know, I had this dream one time when I was really drunk, about Donnie and me playing that stupid alphabet insult game we used to play…"


End file.
